Reflecting a Bit

I am sitting outside, hiding in my little corner where I can catch the internet. I am enjoying the soft breeze and quite rest. The quiet is so nice. J

 I just got off from a great weekend at the older girls house (thrus-sun).

It feels like Laurie and I are finally getting the hang of things, and being able to relax (relatively) and enjoy more moments.

Yeah, we are still the “moms”, and I have learned how to have a thicker skin, but I sit back and am realizing how hard it will be to leave these kids, that I have come to love on a whole new level. I have never felt this kind of love before. So I am not quite sure how to explain it.

 Allison a girl who Laurie and I have been blessed to get to know as our roommate for that last three months is leaving this week. We will miss her a lot, and the work she has been apart of.

Summer is coming to an end. (I hear the fair starts soon and you know that is a sue sign of summer’s end) Shorty after that Laurie will be on here way home in September.That will also be my half way mark…

I am thankful I still have a while to be here, but that I will in turn have to leave also. It is sad watching people say goodbye. It seems like a really hard thing to say goodbye, and don’t really want to have to do it.

But as I am sad at that fact, I am reminded once again WHY I am here. I sit back and reflect on the telling’s of Christ.

 He was faithful to bring me to South Africa for the purposes of His name, and to tell of His mighty acts.

I remember how I felt this fear to performance the months before I left. When I was trying to prepared for being a missionary.

 God showed me my inadequacy. I am still pretty aware of it… ‘cause I know the fails of each day.  As much as I think about all my weaknesses, I have forget to acknowledge, and live in His complete perfection, and powerful hand over all things!

I missed the point of 1 cor 12:9 because I stopped reading after the first line. But the important part of the verse is the second half.

Almost every week in church, we sing this song called Once Again.  The lines of it each week humble me to ‘once again’ look to that big and bloody cross, nail pierced hands, and dying hill.

 A gory sight of scandalous grace;

 the act of God, who so loved the world, that He gave up His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).

“Once again I look upon the cross where You died,

 I’m humbled my your mercy and I’m broken inside

 Once again I thank you

 Once again I pour out my life

Once again.”

I stand in my pew and sing those words, surrounded by all these kids I love, singing the message I came here to share- through my hands and words- to the same kids watching me sing those words: “Once again, I look upon the cross where you died… Once again I thank You; Once again I pour out my life.”

Once again meaning A.K.A here we go again.

A repetitive action.

An action of returning again, and again, to the foot of that bloody cross, and looking up at Him, who brought me peace.

Him who had all power and authority to conquer death.

Him who lives and dwells in me, covering me from all my blemishes and failures of sin – because His life, death, and resurrection- and stamping me with His love-And in His love calling me to love, as He has.

His name is Jesus.

His name is peace.

And He, is the one who has known and cared for these children even as they were formed in their mothers womb (Pslam 139).  I can do nothing here apart from that blood.

I sit back and reflect on that a little longer.

 Thinking “ I, can do nothing apart from the blood of Jesus.” Yet, I, see that I am not here for nothing.

I see that God is working despite myself. He is using my body, to be His messenger of His love.

He has purpose for me, and for me being here in Welkom, South Africa falling in love with the kids I am so blessed to know here.

I want to reflect more on that repetitive action of “once again I pour out my life.” and stay there for a while. 

Please listen to the song. Pause there for a moment.

And pray for me! 

·      Pray that I would dwell continually on Jesus’ sacrifice, and revel at His works!

·      That me being in SA would be and act of worship, for His glory

·      And that we would be able to see that power, and authority of the cross’ redemption, cover and be at work in Restoring Hope Village.