“Father, Let me be weak that I might loose my clutch on
everything temporal. My life, my reputation, my possessions, Lord, let me loose
the tension of the grasping hand. Even, Father, would I lose the love of fondling. How often I have released a
grasp only to retain what I prized by ‘harmless’ longing, the fondling touch.
Rather, open my hand to receive the nail of Calvary, as Christ’s was opened-
that I, releasing all, might be releases, unleashed from all that binds me now.
He thought Heaven, yea, equality with God, not a thing to be clutched at. So
let me release my grasp.
Have had much struggle of soul lately- doubts as to the
truth of God’s care for the world, springing I think from so little evidence of
His power in the gospel. Comforted mightily yesterday morning by realizing that
the rest of faith is upon fact, and that especially in the Resurrection of
Christ. If he be not raised from the dead, my faith is vain.
Father, make me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to
decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men
must trust one way or another on facing Christ in me.”—Jim Eliot from the
Shadow of the Almighty.
The other day Laurie and I had a lovely day hanging out, and caring for
the youngest four boys Rethabile, Tumelo, Tumi, and Sthembile.
Rethabile and Tumelo have adopted the nick-name of the Terrible
Two. They are quite the pair. They always seem to be getting into something, as you can
imagine any four and three year old boy would be.
The other day to their delight, while the normal adventuring
outside, they found a little friend.
-Rethibile-
-The Terrible Two-
Just their type
indeed! With all his tolerant behavior, inviting looks, friendly charms, not to mention
his slow getaway skills, this fine fellow was welcomed quickly into the boys duo.
I went outside to see what all the Sotho chatter was about
and there and behold, was our afternoon guest and entertainment: Mr. Toad!
Mr. Toad
-Tumi wasn't that into it-
After all the fun with our friend Mr. Toad, we sent him on
his way.We all then worked on a few
English words and shape. Retibelie has really picked up a lot of words quickly.
He is understanding so much. Tomelo is working on it. He learns the words of
food much quicker than shapes. He might not quite be able to remember which is
red or green, but he knows what a crasins and almonds are! J
As Laurie and I are stepping back from our house mothering duties,
(because RHI has now hired a new relief house mother) we will have much more
time to work with the boys with basic English, and begin some kindergarten learning! It
is really amazing to see just how much the boys have grown up since being here.
I am sure when we first arrived they thought having two white mamas speaking in a different language was pretty silly, but it seems like Mama Lulay, and Mama Nthabisang (what the boys call Laurie and I) have
made a little place in their lives, that hopefully they will be able gain
something from it. If only by simply teaching them shapes, or caring for them, we hope that they would be shown the love of the Lord through me in some way.
Please pray for these boys.
Though they do not
understand it yet, we pray that they would one day know the love of Jesus in
their lives. We pray for them now, for protection and peace for their lives. For some of the children we don’t know how long they will be with us at The Village. We
know that the Lord has had them safely in His hands since He created them in
their mother’s womb, and will continue to hold them in His loving hands wherever they go or stay.
We pray for their
lives; and are blessed to be able to hold and love them now.
“You hem me in, behind and before,
And lay your hand upon me…
For you formed me in my inmost parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
My soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret,
Intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
In your book were written, every one of them,
The days that were formed for me, when as of yet there were
none of them.”- Psalm 139:5,13-16
I am sitting outside, hiding in my little corner where I can catch the
internet. I am enjoying the soft breeze and quite rest. The quiet is so nice. J
I just got off from a great
weekend at the older girls house (thrus-sun).
It feels like Laurie and I are finally getting the hang of things, and
being able to relax (relatively) and enjoy more moments.
Yeah, we are still the “moms”, and I have learned how to have a thicker
skin, but I sit back and am realizing how hard it will be to leave these kids,
that I have come to love on a whole new level. I have never felt this kind of
love before. So I am not quite sure how to explain it.
Allison a girl who Laurie and I
have been blessed to get to know as our roommate for that last three months is
leaving this week. We will miss her a lot, and the work she has been apart of.
Summer is coming to
an end. (I hear the fair starts soon and you know that is a sue sign of
summer’s end) Shorty after that Laurie will be on here way home in September.That will also be my half way mark…
I am thankful I still have a while to be here, but that I will in turn
have to leave also. It is sad watching people say goodbye. It seems like a
really hard thing to say goodbye, and don’t really want to have to do it.
But as I am sad at that fact, I am reminded once again WHY I am here. I
sit back and reflect on the telling’s of Christ.
He was faithful to bring me to
South Africa for the purposes of His name, and to tell of His mighty acts.
I remember how I felt this fear to performance the months before I left.
When I was trying to prepared for being a missionary.
God showed me my inadequacy. I am
still pretty aware of it… ‘cause I
know the fails of each day. As much as I
think about all my weaknesses, I have forget to acknowledge, and live in His
complete perfection, and powerful hand over all things!
I missed the point of 1 cor 12:9 because I stopped reading after the
first line. But the important part of the verse is the second half.
Almost every week in church, we sing this song called Once Again.The lines of it each week humble me to ‘once
again’ look to that big and bloody cross, nail pierced hands, and dying hill.
A gory sight of scandalous grace;
the act of God, who so loved the
world, that He gave up His one and only son that whoever believes in Him shall
not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
“Once again I look upon the cross where You died,
I’m humbled my your mercy and I’m
broken inside
Once again I thank you
Once again I pour out my life
Once again.”
I stand in my pew and sing those words, surrounded by all these kids I
love, singing the message I came here to share- through my hands and words- to
the same kids watching me sing those words: “Once again, I look upon the cross
where you died… Once again I thank You; Once again I pour out my life.”
Once again meaning A.K.A here we go again.
A repetitive action.
An action of returning again, and again, to the foot of that bloody
cross, and looking up at Him, who brought me peace.
Him who had all power and authority to conquer death.
Him who lives and dwells in me, covering me from all my blemishes and
failures of sin – because His life, death, and resurrection- and stamping me
with His love-And in His love calling me to love, as He has.
His name is Jesus.
His name is peace.
And He, is the one who has known and cared for these children even as
they were formed in their mothers womb (Pslam 139).I can do nothing here apart from that blood.
I sit back and reflect on that a little longer.
Thinking “ I, can do nothing apart
from the blood of Jesus.” Yet, I, see that I am not here for nothing.
I see that God is working despite myself. He is using my body, to be His
messenger of His love.
He has purpose for me, and for me being here in Welkom, South Africa
falling in love with the kids I am so blessed to know here.
I want to reflect more on that repetitive action of “once again I pour
out my life.” and stay there for a while.
Please listen to the song. Pause there for a moment.
And pray for me!
·Pray that
I would dwell continually on Jesus’ sacrifice, and revel at His works!
·That me being
in SA would be and act of worship, for His glory
It is August now, and I can’t even believe how fast the time
has flown! I know I keep saying that, but it just affirms the truth in it.
I have been making this my home, and I have to say that I
love this “job”!
It is winter here, and we are all in winter mode, but there
have been a few days we got to roll up jeans, and soak in the sun. We almost
forgot about our long- time withdrawn pasty white ankles beneath the
layers.(brought out the sunglasses, not because of
the sun, but for our legs! haha )
Tuesday Laurie and I spent the day at the younger children’s
house, and it was such a good day! During nap time we took advantage of the
time and heat, and sat outside to read.
You never get bored, (or maybe I am becoming
much more easily entertained) but there is such a blessed mix of relaxing rest,
and keeping busy; all of which, can really be quite funny, and an enjoyable
mix.
--Check out the video below--
When the kids got up they played so well outside. Laurie and
I would just look up and smile, thinking how blessed we areto be able to be here, taking care of the kids. And how honored I
am to be apart of this ministry.
It is is cool to see kids relearn how to be kids, and be gifted
with the freedom to do so.
So often because of
sin, children are forced to grow up far too fast. These kids have seen many
things, they have had to do, much more to care for themselves, many more responsibilities
and worries than even adults have. It has become normal in this culture to have
ten year olds providing the food and taking care of little siblings. But cool
to see once again children being children.
Jesus knew what he was doing when he told his disciples to
let the children come to Him and listen to him. And to follow their examples of
a childlike faith.
I am also reminded of a childlike joy.
My dear friend from South Africa, just lent me a new book
that I am already super excited for! One, because, it is written by one of my
favorite people in the world; and two, because I am have only read the preface,
prolog and first chapter, and am already challenged!
The Shadow of the Almighty By Elisabeth Eliot. A
biography and collection of writings of her first husband, Jim Elliot. (A
missionary to Ecuador, along with Nate Saint and others who were killed
preaching Christ.)
I admire and am inspired by her, and his writing for so many
different reasons! I feel like this will be one book I will have a hard time
putting down for the truth found in it. And something so encouraging to read,
as I am busy, plugging away at the ministry in front of me.
Here’s a taste of what I’m talking about.
“ Jim’s aim was to know God. His course, obedience- the only
course that could lead to the fulfillment of his aim. His end was what some
would call an extra –ordinary death, although in facing death he had quietly
pointed out that many have died because of obedience to God.
He and other men
with whom he died were hailed as heros, ‘martyrs’. I do not approve (Elisabeth
Elliot- Wife of Jim). Nor would they have approved.
Is the distinction
between living for Christ and dying for Him, after all, so great? Is not the
second the logical conclusion of the first? Furthermore, to live for God IS to
die, ‘daily’, as the apostle Paul put it. It is to lose everything that we may
gain Christ. It is in thus laying down our lives that we find them” –Elisabeth
Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty
So tonight, I think I will indulge a little; maybe buy a tub
of real dairy ice-cream (most you will find in disguise, is made from vegetable
oil…) and sink in to some old words with the Elliots. J
“It is when we obey God’s law that we can be quite sure that
we really know Him. The man who claims to know God but does not obey His laws
is not only a liar, he lives in self-delusion. In practice, the more a man
learns to obey God’s law, the more truly and fully does he experience his love
for Him. Obedience is the test of whether we really live ‘in God’ or not. The
life of a man who professes to be living in God must bear the stamp of
Christ”-1 John 2:3-6, JBP
