Teach Me to Pray

Tumi hanging on my leg

Time is so strange here. I am learning just to live life- learning to walk moment by moment by spirit and in truth- because I am being watched.  There are not many "big moments" of challenge or revival, but thousands of moments to be faithful.


I knew that when I decided to come to South Africa for eight months, it would not be like all the missions trips I have been on. I knew it would look different in the way I would invest, and spend my time. 
With missions trips you are always busy, everything is new, and it seems like God always makes seven, set apart days to change your life. When you are coming for a longer amount of time, it takes a little while to truly settle in.  I am realizing, that you I am building, and investing in longer terms.


These last two weeks (or however long I have been here...) I have been learning how to settle in. I am learning how to be poured out, and also how to rest. It is difficult retraining my brain to really listen to what God wants me to be doing with each task.  And noticing that in all this, I have many little eyes watching me, seeing how I respond. I am accountable for baring whiteness of what it looks like to walk as Jesus calls us to walk. I am leaning to live ( not just act) like Jesus did, and love as God does.


 ::The Character of God:: 

doing hair with the older girls

I was just thinking and praying for ways that I can walk that way, and  in the character quality of faithfulness. Being faithful is not something you from moment to moment, but rather moments built upon each other that become consistent. Oh man, and consistency it hard... To be faithful is a spiritual discipline, that takes work!Discipline doesn't really sound fun either... but God's word speaks of discipline like a good Father. Discipline trains you in the behavior you Father asks of you-this is to walk and live like His son Jesus.

Lerato

:: The Other Day::
I am excited for all the opportunities I have to " just be" with all the kids. The other night, Laurie and I were up at the older girls house, just sitting around talking. It was great! We covered so many topics of conversion, (cell phones, school, boys, favorite ice cream, etc.)We just had time to "be". It was sweet time for me, because in each of those topics, there is opportunity to meet with God the Father.
 Each of those things in those girls lives God is interested in, and loves, and wants to hear about! We can even praise Him for ice cream! :) Each of these moments are teaching ones. 

Monica

As I  kept thinking about being faithful, I was thinking  "HOW in the WORLD can I learn to be consistent in the way that Jesus is?!" This is going to be SO hard... and I really don't even know how to start. I asked God, how I should pray.  

Paulina, Sthembile, and me

My brain is so small, and I am so silly sometimes, always taking things into my own little hands, when all along Jesus has told us how we are to pray. Like a good Father, He has taught me to pray.

Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come.

Thy will be done in earth,

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

(Matt. 6:9-15)

Laurie with Sthembile and Inseeki

God is good! and faithful,  and never changing.  He has been faithful to teach me, and train me to look more like Him in the U.S., so I know He will be faithful to do the same here in South Africa! He has proven consistently His goodness, and provision for me, so I can have confidence.


::Opportunity At Hand::
This week from Thursday morning- Sunday afternoon Laurie and I will be house parents for the older girls house. There will be so many opportunities to get to know the girls deeper, and be able to speak truth into them, in many topics. But.... none of this will happen unless, the Lord makes a way, and gives us moments of grace, to be faithful to do as He wills. This means we can pray for this weekend as He has taught us to. 


::PLEASE PRAY::

• Baby Inseeki: to sleep better at night this weekend. ( Laurie and I are newbies no-sleeping-baby- nights :) )

• Mallory: to be faithful in the way God has asked me to live like His Son. 

• Laurie and Mal together: to continually seek the Lord in all circumstances, and attitudes.

• The Missionaries: The Niehoff's, to be encouraged, and steadfast with the busy weeks to come; and the O'Tool's to speak clearly about RHI ( Restoring Hope Int.) and have people be excited to be involved in supporting their ministry.

And... sorry this was a long post. Thank you those who stuck it through and read it! :) :)

Too Easily Pleased

::One Full Welcome::

This week has been a blessing! It seems as though it has been much longer than reality.

I don't really feel like I am in Africa, because it is not Africa like you all are imagining. It is cold!

At night, there are moments when you can see your breath, and in the days it warms up to be a beautiful t-shirt weather day.

This weekend Laurie and I were house parents for seven children. Lerato 10, Modiehi 9,  Kamohelo 8, Rethabile 4, Tumelo 3, Tumi 1, and Sthembile who is 4 month old.

As you can see it was a lot of fun, and also a lot of work, and things to learn. Brian and Lois put us right to work! We quickly settled into this busy house, and learned what it is like to be a mom. We did laundry by hand, had consistent slobber shoulders, an built up an immunity to poop and the like,  with sleepless night, cooking and cleaning.

We were very busy caring for all these kids. Laurie and I felt gitty when we finally crawled into out beds where we are staying. It was a great feeling!  Although the glamor wore off with the spit up, I love it. 

The night we were relieved from our kids, Louis O'Tool ( the other missionary family fundraising in the U.S. until September) spoke at my hometown church, and we listened in online. 

Louis, spoke about The Village and it's mission to show God's grace in the community here. He shared a short story of each child that I had just spent the weekend getting to know. Many of these stories I did not know . It was a reminder once again of how to love, and what I had really come here to do- share the salvation of Jesus' love. 

In Louis presentation he spoke on the culture of sin and how easily it pleases us, as humans.

He shared a quote, speaking of the sin he had seen so easily in the culture of South Africa, and the lies and covering of sins that we try, to hide our need for Jesus.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” 

Tumi

― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses


::Literally::
Here in South Africa there are real children, sitting in slums, really having no idea what a "home" is. They have never seen it, therefore are content to live in the mess.

Such Cubby Cheeks

:: Figuratively::
I am a child, far to easily pleased to make mud pies and delight in sins, and prideful attitudes, unpleasing to the Lord. But the difference is, I have seen the greatness of the King Jesus, and I have been called a daughter of that King, full of blessings; YET I still chose the sin. I am far to easily pleased to find my own way, then to be fully satisfied with the Lord and giver of life, the fount of living water. 


"Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."- John 6:35


::How Can I?::
How can I receive these infinite joys? How can I look and see the gifts, rather than always choosing to sin?




Matthew 5: 6 says

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied"

I am here working at an orphanage, yet I struggle with just working, and forgetting the one for whom I serve;
all the while, I am serving and serving, and going hungry... I am hungry because I failed to notice and acknowledge my need for Jesus- the Bread Of Life-Jesus, the One for whom I serve, and the one who shows me grace and mercy. Jesus; the One from whom my love come, my joy, my satisfaction, my rest, my security.  


I can not do anything apart from him (though I try).
If I am not thirsty for Jesus, there is a problem. I can not move past it. 
If I am not thirsty for Jesus, yet am not hungry, I must ask myself what it filling up my appetite? 
Pride, vanity, selfishness, independence?

Do we look tired yet?

And so, I question my huger, and my thirst? Is it my ego, that leads to distraction and filth, or my Jesus, and seeking righteousness, that leads to joy?


I need to be earnestly asking the Lord, to show me my needs, and make me thirsty for Jesus.

I'm Here!

I have arrived!
Laurie and I made it safe and sound, Wednesday night. We had a great flight, with a few funny stories along the way. One, including advice for Laurie to say she is married, because she might just get a few offers :) :)


Right now,  I am taking a short break from my busy weekend, where Laurie and I are house parents for the weekend for seven children. A four month old baby, one year old, two four year olds,  an eight year old, and two ten year olds! Woot woot; and learning to make a few African dishes! They might just involve a few innards... :)

I will write more soon!
Love,
~Mal

Packing, Packing, and Re-Packing

Here we are, with only five days left!

All this week I have been busy packing, weighing, and re-packing all my bags.  It seems that over 20 years of never having  moved I have collected a lot of stuff.
While discovering all my keepsakes, I am oddly connected to the strangest of things; such as: Lots of special rocks, special words torn out of newspapers, special leaves, special sticks, special shells... and so on. It is silly, I know, and don't worry those where not the things that I spent my week packing in. But, silly as it is, these are small reminders I have picked up along the way, that are little reminders of times in my life. I packed up all my old journals and read of all the ways God has been unspeakably rich in love and mercy. I have journals filled with proof of a faithful Lord, who is good and never once has left me, or forsaken me.
These last few days are the worst, because I don't know how to name my feelings. All the sudden I am ready to go! It seems as though my hands never moved, but my feet are now about to walk onto a plane, and into a whole new country, and asking myself "how did I get here?"

::A Bit of History::
It is not me at all.
Like I said, the Lord has been faithful, preparing this path for me for many years. I am not sure exactly when I felt the Lord calling me to proclaim His name to the Nations. I never heard a voice call out to me in a burning bush (though I know He could have, like He did to Moses) instead the Lord knew how my heart works. He knows me, and knew this wasn't an overnight thing. I always knew what the Lord has said to do starting way back in Genesis throughout Revelation.
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them ^to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” -Matthew 28:18-20

The spring of my senior year of high school  I was coming out of a time where God was fixing all the brokenness I was holding on to in my heart. I was so scared of my unknown life ahead of me!
In 2010, the day after I came home from a month long trip to visit my sister (where God turned my scared, hard, hurting heart into clay) and I went on my first missions trip!
A week after that I went on another. I then knew I really wanted to serve the Lord cross-culturally.

God showed me how much He loved me, I knew and felt this powerful love, and as I learned He showed me, THIS is His heart for ALL PEOPLE!

How could I not share this love I knew with people who knew nothing of it?

I began learning as much as I could because I had been filled with this new passion God had given me!

:: So Here's The Funny Part::
I would pray over this passion daily, asking, "Lord, I have this love; how will you, have me use it?"
Always asking, " Lord use me, send me, give me strength to love You, and Your people."
and " where shall I go?". The funny thing is I was in this continual "waiting"position, but God was using me- His clay-all along without me knowing the plan.

Last March, I went to South Africa, and my life was totally changed. I came home and knew I didn't want to go on anymore "trips".

This winter I decided to take more steps to see what doors God would open, or close concerning missions, and see if this was something God would have for my life.
 I filled out a long application for a missions internship in the Ukraine, then I got an email about South Africa!
.... and here we are!


I think these next couple of days will be the hardest. The realness of all this is sinking in. I am very excited, but goodbyes are always hard!

 And really hard for my friend Laurie, ( *Lu-ree; Who will be in S.A. with me for four months) whose family finally sold their house.  It will be really hard, since her family will have to move while she is away, and she will back to a different house. 

::This Passage Has Been a Comfort::

Thus says the Lord who made you,

who formed you from the womb and will help you:
Fear not, O Jacob my servant,
Jeshurun whom I have chosen.

 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants. 

 They shall spring up among the grass
    like willows by flowing streams.

This one will say, ‘I am the Lord's,’
    another will call on the name of Jacob,

and another will write on his hand, ‘The Lord's,’

    and name himself by the name of Israel.”... 

Fear not, nor be afraid;

    have I not told you from of old and declared it?  

And you are my witnesses!- Isaiah 44:2-8

::Please PRAY For::

•  Laurie: with all new emotions of leaving "home" and goodbyes.

• Traveling: Laurie and I have three connecting flights before flying into JoBurg. That is scary stressful to get to each gate in time. 

• Goodbyes: Grace for all the tears that go along with leaving home for a while.
  
• The Missionaries: Amber and Louis O'Tool and there two children, Meridith and Drake traveling home to the states, and Brian and Lois, Niehoff, and there three children Liam, Lindy, and Charley adjusting to "The Village" without the O'Tools.

• And PRAISE the Father: I now have 90% of my needed support raised! Praise the Father for all the people who are sending me. I am so blessed to see the body of Christ at work in many ways, and places!

 

May 15th- January 18th

The count down has started! I leave in 26 days! 

With this girl!...

Laurie and I

:: My Companion:: 
Laurie and I have shared many journeys to the heart together the last nine years,and last year in South Africa. I am excited to travel and live with Laurie until she returns home in September.

It has been a blessing to now have someone to help me prepare and pray with! 

::Eight Months::
I am leaving May 15th, and returning January 18th! I will be at Restoring Hope International Orphanage( A.K.A. The Village) very soon and am getting anxious to settle in, and meet everyone!


Last year when I went for two weeks they just had their first two girls, Monica and Lerato. We went to work on the first children home. Now they have two filled children's homes and both missionary houses built! They are growing fast,  and they are motivated to build more homes, to be filled. Now, with sixteen children, there will be lots to do!


I am told that there are not two days that are the same, so I will be doing many tasks that they may need filled. Things I will be doing will consist of: helping with homework everyday after school, helping lead bible time, helping with the older girls bible study, washing dishes, relief for the house mothers, and much, much more. In all these things my main purpose is to be a servant.


I am going not because I have all these awesome skills, and abilities- to the contrary- I am going, to humbly serve, however the missionaries need to be served, and in whatever way that may be. I don't really have anything to offer, but my hands and a heart.


My God given desire is to diligently work to show the love of Chirst Jesus, 
whom for us and for our salvation, came down from heaven.


The reason I am going is not out of my compassion, but God's great love for me, and to all nations. And He asked me to trust Him, and follow Him.


:: Example Attitude::
I do not know how to be humble or serve except through Christ and from His example.


^"1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
 ⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God, 
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant, 
   being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!


 ⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place 
and gave him the name that is above every name, 
¹⁰ THAT at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 
   in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 
¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, 
   to the glory of God the Father."
- Philippians 2:1-11


 As servant, humble and obedient, God came down from heaven to give me purpose, and show me, and give me instructions. To love is to lay down your life; Agape.
 Christ is the only one who's sacrifice could pay the penalty as the perfect sacrifice.
Because of HIS payment, and servanthood I now am free from death, TO praise the One who is to be praised, and to make known the greatness of His love; SO THAT at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Jesus: The only sacrifice that is complete, the only perfect love. And the One who calls us to follow His example.  


I am excited to do so at The Village in South Africa, and thankful for all your help in sending me, and supporting me prayerful, as well as financially. 
            
I have of 50% of my support raised!!!


Love,  
~Mal
 P.S. Still waiting on the return for my visa...but everything else is coming together. :)

What Am I Doing?

:: The Real Deal  :) ::  

  This is my first real post! The first publish of how I am doing, and how God is working specifically in my heart towards my new South African life.

This is the week everyone has been asking me how excited I am to finally be a missionary in Africa. Funny how that works, because this is the week I wasn't so sure how to answer that question.

I can not tell you have truly overjoyed I am to be going to be used in this way! I am so excited and certain that the Lord has called me to doing this work, and feel so blessed to do so. I also must admit, that I have also been asking myself, "what in the world am I doing?"...

I have around six weeks before I head over seas. That is so crazy! and I am a little scared... I am starting to understand the cost and worth of what I am going to be leaving home for.

:: This Costs::

  I won't lie, this week I have been saddened by the thought of leaving; realizing what I will be missing while I am away. Maybe I am just being a baby, but I'm realizing how quickly my nephews will grow up in eight months, how far away I will be from my family, and everything familiar. I am sad because I understand the value and worth of all that I love here. So, the value of these things becomes a cost when exchanged for something different.


These are all natural feelings because I am leaving good things. However, it is when Satan gets into my emotions and tempts me to fall into unbelief. 

  The other night I had a bit of a break down... I keep forgetting how hard the devil is going to try and make me feel like this is not what I should be doing or that I can be used. I had a moment when I only saw how much this is going to cost. I thought to myself "what in the world I'm I doing? I am going to  miss all these things! and I love these things, I don't know about all this Lord.".
 I don't know what I was expecting, or maybe I just misunderstood when Jesus said it would cost to be  his disciple; he said there would be requirements. 


“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.  Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.- Matthew 10:37-39


He also said he was trustworthy.


::Oh Yeah...::
  I am so thankful for that moment of weakness when I really didn't know why I would give all these things up. I am thankful because it helped me understand the value that I have!- value that becomes cost when exchanged-  and the cost that it takes, to find the great WORTH of that cost!


Like in Matthew 10 those who lose their life find it. 
I am losing my life. 
Christ lost his life on the cross, that I would find life!


Christ is the worth of all this is going to cost, and he declare to me that it is WORTH the cost!
Jesus is worth this because he is worthy.


I was so encourages by this Psalm 145. I couldn't separate any of it, because it spoke to every worry, fear, question and feeling I have been feeling this week, so I had to post the whole thing. 


Please remember me in your prayers; being reminded that these are proclamations of praise to a Worthy King and Savior, that the Devil does not like and will try to stop.


Love, 
Mal


::A psalm of praise Of David::


 "¹ I will exalt you, my God the King; 
   I will praise your name for ever and ever.
² Every day I will praise you
   and extol your name for ever and ever.
   his greatness no one can fathom.
⁴ One generation commends your works to another;
   they tell of your mighty acts.
⁵ They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty—
   and I will meditate on your wonderful works.^[b]
6 They tell of the power of your awesome works—
   and I will proclaim your great deeds.
⁷ They celebrate your abundant goodness
   and joyfully sing of your righteousness.
   slow to anger and rich in love.
   he has compassion on all he has made.
¹⁰ All your works praise you, LORD;
   your faithful people extol you.
¹¹ They tell of the glory of your kingdom
   and speak of your might,
¹² so that all people may know of your mighty acts
   and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
¹³ Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
   and your dominion endures through all generations.
   and faithful in all he does.^[c]
14 The LORD upholds all who fall
   and lifts up all who are bowed down.
¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you,
   and you give them their food at the proper time.
¹⁶ You open your hand
   and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
   and faithful in all he does.
¹⁸ The LORD is near to all who call on him,
   to all who call on him in truth.
¹⁹ He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
   he hears their cry and saves them.
²⁰ The LORD watches over all who love him,
   but all the wicked he will destroy.
   Let every creature praise his holy name
   for ever and ever.

 ³ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; 
 ⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate, 
 ⁹ The LORD is good to all; 
   The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises 
 ¹⁷ The LORD is righteous in all his ways 
 ²¹ My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. "- Psalm 145

Here We Go!

As you all may know, if you are reading this blog, in may I will be moving to Welkom, South Africa!!

I will be leaving in may and returning home for Christmas. I am going to be serving Restoring Hope International.

Before I go any further...

:: A Little About Restoring Hope International::
" In South Africa, a country with more than 1.4 million AIDS orphans , you don’'t have to go far to meet children who are sick, abandoned, starving, afraid and without a place to call home. Most never receive the love and education necessary to live healthy lifestyles, making it next to impossible to break the devastating foothold that AIDS has on this nation until now.

In 2008, a dedicated group of individuals established Restoring Hope International (RHI), a non-profit focused on breaking the destructive cycle of AIDS in South Africa, specifically in the Welkom area. Today, RHI’'s board of directors is working feverishly to make it possible for RHI field staff and qualified South African house mothers to raise abandoned and orphaned children in safe, family home environments.
RHI’s goal is to reach the next generation for Christ."

I am told I will be doing many different things to help this be done. I will be serving the missionaries already there in the hands and feet work of a ministry, seeking to just engourage them and help!


:: Just A Beginner::

This blog will be a recording and tool for processing a new life on my journey while I am in South Africa. It will be a source for all of you to follow all the blessings, lessons, and tears as I seek to see Jesus' grace and mercy flood the nation of South Africa and the children and RHI Village.

I am so thankful for God's grace and love in all His great plans for getting me to this place. I am excited and scared. I am defiantly a beginner in vocational kingdom building. I am very much a weakling but able to boast because of my King's work.

^"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."- 2 Corinthian 12:9-10

I have a feeling I will be needing this reminder a lot as I discover more and more my inadequacy for this task.

This is also my little disclaimer of sorts- in that- I am also a beginner in the blogging trend. I must admit to you that I have a unique skill ( I am sure my family will laugh from experience) that I am sometimes not very good at communicating, or spelling and being grammatically correct, talking too much, and often using the wrong phrases. I am no theologian but I trust that all of you will be able to look over my mistakes, and see my heart, and prayer.

:: More Than You Know::

I am so thankful for all of you more than you know reading this.

Thank you for all your support in sending me, encouragement, and prayer.

The body of Christ is so cool as I get to witness different limbs at work! ( 1 Corinthians 12)

Now, I am in earnest need of zealous prayers, because I know this is not work Satan wants to happen, it is not an environment I am used to, and it is not easy work.
As you read I encourage you to comment and pray for me!!

"For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, ¹⁶ I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, ¹⁷ that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, ¹⁸having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might ²⁰ that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, ²¹ far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. ²² And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all."- Ephesians 1:15-29