"You See Flowers in These Weeds"

It was just another day at the younger kids house. A normal Wednesday routine; Wash the kids, clean the house, feed the kids, clean the kids, wipe the tears, and feed the kids again.... Or so I thought. 

Yesterday was actually a different kind of day. A day where I find myself being sanctified.

And trustfully being sanctified by grace.

There has been another flu going around, it seems everyone at The Village gets a turn to enjoy the pleasure. Yesterday, the two youngest boys, Tumi and Sthembile, were the receivers of the stomach flu. 

So the day was not quite the same as every other. Still entailing the listed norm., we also filled the day with the tasks of caring for two sick little babies.

You know Tumi must really be sick when he doesn't want to eat.

I was hoping my motherly instincts would come out for  two reasons. I was praying (selfishly) that would be protected by the "Moms don't ever get sick" policy/ super-power all our moms seem to have; anticipating the week ahead where Laurie and I are house mothering Wednesday- Sunday evening (because I really don't want to be sick again.)  Also praying for the knowledge and energy to take care of two little sick ones, along with "The Terrible Two."

I was surprised at what came out of me that day. 

I found that God gave me just what I needed. He supplied me with the ability to care like a mother. 

As you may have guessed already, Laurie and I are back on the job as part time house mothers. We will be doing this together until Laurie leave in 13 days, then I will be taking the role, at least during the day times, on my own.

As I held the sick little baby, I was thinking of all the ways I have found a change in myself since being at Restoring Hope Village. I guess didn’t really know what all I was getting myself into :).  

I knew that house parenting was one thing we might do, but only God knew the plans He had in teaching me the transformation I would undergo in becoming like a mother to these kids. 

There are many ways I could, would, and have taken pride in having this title, or knowing the feelings of mother. The more I learn and do, the more I realize the shame doing so. I count noting my gain, if it does not first give glory to my Father, the One who is The Giver of all I claim as pure joy. For that is what true joy is- in giving the praise to God. 

I was thinking of all the motherly traits that seem to have come out of nowhere in me. Sure, I have taken care of few children before, and watched my mother and sister care for their own; but really, where does the impulse to put your own spit on your hand to clean snot off someone else's face come from?!?

I have found myself doing things like this, or thinking and feeling emotions I have only heard descriptions of from mothers.

I am tempted to be thankful for “mother's instincts” I hoped would come out of me as a woman, but am stopped by the unfulfilled truth in that.

 Yeah, when a woman learns to care for a child there is a different kind of love and tenderness that flowers in a new way from her, but I cannot too quickly count that as where this change has happened in me.

I am not to too quickly lay to waste the call for praise that I may joy in. For I know beyond anything, all that I have learned and developed in motherly care is from God the Father.

He is the one who has truly given me the care for these kids. God is the One who gives me the love of a mother to patently tend to a flu sick baby (mess and all), and the one who makes it joy to put aside the want to look good because you are no longer first priority in the morning. He is the One who is the example of loving parent.

It would be foolishness to count nature the reason for my change of heart. I know that God has given me this love, not for my own pride but for His name. For as I love,  I come as a servant of a great household- a kingdom of light that is unshakable- I come as a servant, doing only the work of their master, to show the glory of the Master’s household. 

A servant does not do anything that his master has not already told him to do. He has not anything his master has not given him; and the majesty of the house is not anything the servant can be accounted of giving towards. But the work of a servant is to labor, and work, and present the house as he has been commanded to do, so that when the time for the great household is presented the servants will be nowhere to be seen, but the glory of the master will be shown in full.

In the bible it teaches us that we are servants of the Most High God, for HIS glory!  

...and our joy.

For even Jesus- who was God Himself- did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant; He humbled Himself, and became obedient to death- even death on a cross... Therefore God exalted Him to the highest place... THAT at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2)

Joy is the blessing, love is the fruit, peace is the preserver, but the magnification of our God - The Giver of all these- is the purpose! 

God's kingdom has never been in danger from losing its glory and never will. So my work and love are not dependent upon its richness, but I have found-since learning the things of a mother, and serving the Lord here at Restoring Hope Village- it is privilege to  work unto the Lord this way. My pride is not in being a "mom," but in serving the Lord. 

Let my pride be striped from me, and He, be higher lifted up.

I am being sanctified. It can be very challenging, but I see  that it is indeed by grace! 

And so sweet that grace is!

Yesterday, after the long and messy day of flu, the older kids got home from school, and we started to make supper. And it began to rain: one of Laurie and I's favorite things. We were winding down the day getting ready to leave- tired and a little worn- ready to go home.

 All day I had all these half thoughts, processing the book I just wrote above.  When, so sweetly we were blessed with joy.

The baby finally sleeping in your arms…a beautiful sky… mhhhm, the smell of rain… and Kamohelo digging something up in the muddy yard. 

Kamohelo brought to both Laurie and I a beautiful selection of yellow weeds, potted in an old mayonnaise jar.  The sweetest gift a girl could receive! 

And as I we finished up the day, this song went ringing through my head.

And so sweet was God's goodness shown to me!

"Lord, let me loose the tension of the grasping hand."

“Father, Let me be weak that I might loose my clutch on everything temporal. My life, my reputation, my possessions, Lord, let me loose the tension of the grasping hand. Even, Father, would I lose the love of fondling. How often I have released a grasp only to retain what I prized by ‘harmless’ longing, the fondling touch. Rather, open my hand to receive the nail of Calvary, as Christ’s was opened- that I, releasing all, might be releases, unleashed from all that binds me now. He thought Heaven, yea, equality with God, not a thing to be clutched at. So let me release my grasp.

Have had much struggle of soul lately- doubts as to the truth of God’s care for the world, springing I think from so little evidence of His power in the gospel. Comforted mightily yesterday morning by realizing that the rest of faith is upon fact, and that especially in the Resurrection of Christ. If he be not raised from the dead, my faith is vain.

Father, make me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men must trust one way or another on facing Christ in me.”—Jim Eliot from the Shadow of the Almighty.

A Days Adventure With Mr. Toad...

The other day Laurie and I had a lovely day hanging out, and caring for the youngest four boys Rethabile, Tumelo, Tumi, and Sthembile. 

Rethabile and Tumelo have adopted the nick-name of the Terrible Two. They are quite the pair. They always seem to be getting into something, as you can imagine any four and three year old boy would be.

The other day to their delight, while the normal adventuring outside, they found a little friend.

-Rethibile-

-The Terrible Two-

Just their type indeed! With  all his tolerant behavior, inviting looks, friendly charms, not to mention his slow getaway skills, this fine fellow was welcomed quickly into the boys duo. 

I went outside to see what all the Sotho chatter was about and there and behold, was our afternoon guest and entertainment: Mr. Toad!

Mr. Toad

-Tumi wasn't that into it-

After all the fun with our friend Mr. Toad, we sent him on his way.  We all then worked on a few English words and shape. Retibelie has really picked up a lot of words quickly. He is understanding so much. Tomelo is working on it. He learns the words of food much quicker than shapes. He might not quite be able to remember which is red or green, but he knows what a crasins and almonds are! J

As Laurie and I are stepping back from our house mothering duties, (because RHI has now hired a new relief house mother) we will have much more time to work with the boys with basic English, and begin some kindergarten learning! It is really amazing to see just how much the boys have grown up since being here. I am sure when we first arrived they thought having two white mamas speaking in a different language was pretty silly, but it seems like Mama Lulay, and Mama Nthabisang (what the boys call Laurie and I) have made a little place in their lives, that hopefully they will be able gain something from it. If only by simply teaching them shapes, or caring for them, we hope that they would be shown the love of the Lord through me in some way.

Please pray for these boys.

 Though they do not understand it yet, we pray that they would one day know the love of Jesus in their lives. We pray for them now, for protection and peace for their lives.  For some of the children we don’t know how long they will be with us at The Village. We know that the Lord has had them safely in His hands since He created them in their mother’s womb, and will continue to hold them in His loving hands wherever they go or stay. 

 We pray for their lives; and are blessed to be able to hold and love them now.

“You hem me in, behind and before,

And lay your hand upon me…

For you formed me in my inmost parts;

You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

My soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

When I was being made in secret,

Intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

In your book were written, every one of them,

The days that were formed for me, when as of yet there were none of them.”- Psalm 139:5,13-16

Sthembile-nothing beats a happy baby in a onesie