Teach Me to Pray

Tumi hanging on my leg

Time is so strange here. I am learning just to live life- learning to walk moment by moment by spirit and in truth- because I am being watched.  There are not many "big moments" of challenge or revival, but thousands of moments to be faithful.


I knew that when I decided to come to South Africa for eight months, it would not be like all the missions trips I have been on. I knew it would look different in the way I would invest, and spend my time. 
With missions trips you are always busy, everything is new, and it seems like God always makes seven, set apart days to change your life. When you are coming for a longer amount of time, it takes a little while to truly settle in.  I am realizing, that you I am building, and investing in longer terms.


These last two weeks (or however long I have been here...) I have been learning how to settle in. I am learning how to be poured out, and also how to rest. It is difficult retraining my brain to really listen to what God wants me to be doing with each task.  And noticing that in all this, I have many little eyes watching me, seeing how I respond. I am accountable for baring whiteness of what it looks like to walk as Jesus calls us to walk. I am leaning to live ( not just act) like Jesus did, and love as God does.


 ::The Character of God:: 

doing hair with the older girls

I was just thinking and praying for ways that I can walk that way, and  in the character quality of faithfulness. Being faithful is not something you from moment to moment, but rather moments built upon each other that become consistent. Oh man, and consistency it hard... To be faithful is a spiritual discipline, that takes work!Discipline doesn't really sound fun either... but God's word speaks of discipline like a good Father. Discipline trains you in the behavior you Father asks of you-this is to walk and live like His son Jesus.

Lerato

:: The Other Day::
I am excited for all the opportunities I have to " just be" with all the kids. The other night, Laurie and I were up at the older girls house, just sitting around talking. It was great! We covered so many topics of conversion, (cell phones, school, boys, favorite ice cream, etc.)We just had time to "be". It was sweet time for me, because in each of those topics, there is opportunity to meet with God the Father.
 Each of those things in those girls lives God is interested in, and loves, and wants to hear about! We can even praise Him for ice cream! :) Each of these moments are teaching ones. 

Monica

As I  kept thinking about being faithful, I was thinking  "HOW in the WORLD can I learn to be consistent in the way that Jesus is?!" This is going to be SO hard... and I really don't even know how to start. I asked God, how I should pray.  

Paulina, Sthembile, and me

My brain is so small, and I am so silly sometimes, always taking things into my own little hands, when all along Jesus has told us how we are to pray. Like a good Father, He has taught me to pray.

Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come.

Thy will be done in earth,

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

(Matt. 6:9-15)

Laurie with Sthembile and Inseeki

God is good! and faithful,  and never changing.  He has been faithful to teach me, and train me to look more like Him in the U.S., so I know He will be faithful to do the same here in South Africa! He has proven consistently His goodness, and provision for me, so I can have confidence.


::Opportunity At Hand::
This week from Thursday morning- Sunday afternoon Laurie and I will be house parents for the older girls house. There will be so many opportunities to get to know the girls deeper, and be able to speak truth into them, in many topics. But.... none of this will happen unless, the Lord makes a way, and gives us moments of grace, to be faithful to do as He wills. This means we can pray for this weekend as He has taught us to. 


::PLEASE PRAY::

• Baby Inseeki: to sleep better at night this weekend. ( Laurie and I are newbies no-sleeping-baby- nights :) )

• Mallory: to be faithful in the way God has asked me to live like His Son. 

• Laurie and Mal together: to continually seek the Lord in all circumstances, and attitudes.

• The Missionaries: The Niehoff's, to be encouraged, and steadfast with the busy weeks to come; and the O'Tool's to speak clearly about RHI ( Restoring Hope Int.) and have people be excited to be involved in supporting their ministry.

And... sorry this was a long post. Thank you those who stuck it through and read it! :) :)

Too Easily Pleased

::One Full Welcome::

This week has been a blessing! It seems as though it has been much longer than reality.

I don't really feel like I am in Africa, because it is not Africa like you all are imagining. It is cold!

At night, there are moments when you can see your breath, and in the days it warms up to be a beautiful t-shirt weather day.

This weekend Laurie and I were house parents for seven children. Lerato 10, Modiehi 9,  Kamohelo 8, Rethabile 4, Tumelo 3, Tumi 1, and Sthembile who is 4 month old.

As you can see it was a lot of fun, and also a lot of work, and things to learn. Brian and Lois put us right to work! We quickly settled into this busy house, and learned what it is like to be a mom. We did laundry by hand, had consistent slobber shoulders, an built up an immunity to poop and the like,  with sleepless night, cooking and cleaning.

We were very busy caring for all these kids. Laurie and I felt gitty when we finally crawled into out beds where we are staying. It was a great feeling!  Although the glamor wore off with the spit up, I love it. 

The night we were relieved from our kids, Louis O'Tool ( the other missionary family fundraising in the U.S. until September) spoke at my hometown church, and we listened in online. 

Louis, spoke about The Village and it's mission to show God's grace in the community here. He shared a short story of each child that I had just spent the weekend getting to know. Many of these stories I did not know . It was a reminder once again of how to love, and what I had really come here to do- share the salvation of Jesus' love. 

In Louis presentation he spoke on the culture of sin and how easily it pleases us, as humans.

He shared a quote, speaking of the sin he had seen so easily in the culture of South Africa, and the lies and covering of sins that we try, to hide our need for Jesus.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” 

Tumi

― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses


::Literally::
Here in South Africa there are real children, sitting in slums, really having no idea what a "home" is. They have never seen it, therefore are content to live in the mess.

Such Cubby Cheeks

:: Figuratively::
I am a child, far to easily pleased to make mud pies and delight in sins, and prideful attitudes, unpleasing to the Lord. But the difference is, I have seen the greatness of the King Jesus, and I have been called a daughter of that King, full of blessings; YET I still chose the sin. I am far to easily pleased to find my own way, then to be fully satisfied with the Lord and giver of life, the fount of living water. 


"Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."- John 6:35


::How Can I?::
How can I receive these infinite joys? How can I look and see the gifts, rather than always choosing to sin?




Matthew 5: 6 says

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied"

I am here working at an orphanage, yet I struggle with just working, and forgetting the one for whom I serve;
all the while, I am serving and serving, and going hungry... I am hungry because I failed to notice and acknowledge my need for Jesus- the Bread Of Life-Jesus, the One for whom I serve, and the one who shows me grace and mercy. Jesus; the One from whom my love come, my joy, my satisfaction, my rest, my security.  


I can not do anything apart from him (though I try).
If I am not thirsty for Jesus, there is a problem. I can not move past it. 
If I am not thirsty for Jesus, yet am not hungry, I must ask myself what it filling up my appetite? 
Pride, vanity, selfishness, independence?

Do we look tired yet?

And so, I question my huger, and my thirst? Is it my ego, that leads to distraction and filth, or my Jesus, and seeking righteousness, that leads to joy?


I need to be earnestly asking the Lord, to show me my needs, and make me thirsty for Jesus.

I'm Here!

I have arrived!
Laurie and I made it safe and sound, Wednesday night. We had a great flight, with a few funny stories along the way. One, including advice for Laurie to say she is married, because she might just get a few offers :) :)


Right now,  I am taking a short break from my busy weekend, where Laurie and I are house parents for the weekend for seven children. A four month old baby, one year old, two four year olds,  an eight year old, and two ten year olds! Woot woot; and learning to make a few African dishes! They might just involve a few innards... :)

I will write more soon!
Love,
~Mal

Packing, Packing, and Re-Packing

Here we are, with only five days left!

All this week I have been busy packing, weighing, and re-packing all my bags.  It seems that over 20 years of never having  moved I have collected a lot of stuff.
While discovering all my keepsakes, I am oddly connected to the strangest of things; such as: Lots of special rocks, special words torn out of newspapers, special leaves, special sticks, special shells... and so on. It is silly, I know, and don't worry those where not the things that I spent my week packing in. But, silly as it is, these are small reminders I have picked up along the way, that are little reminders of times in my life. I packed up all my old journals and read of all the ways God has been unspeakably rich in love and mercy. I have journals filled with proof of a faithful Lord, who is good and never once has left me, or forsaken me.
These last few days are the worst, because I don't know how to name my feelings. All the sudden I am ready to go! It seems as though my hands never moved, but my feet are now about to walk onto a plane, and into a whole new country, and asking myself "how did I get here?"

::A Bit of History::
It is not me at all.
Like I said, the Lord has been faithful, preparing this path for me for many years. I am not sure exactly when I felt the Lord calling me to proclaim His name to the Nations. I never heard a voice call out to me in a burning bush (though I know He could have, like He did to Moses) instead the Lord knew how my heart works. He knows me, and knew this wasn't an overnight thing. I always knew what the Lord has said to do starting way back in Genesis throughout Revelation.
And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them ^to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” -Matthew 28:18-20

The spring of my senior year of high school  I was coming out of a time where God was fixing all the brokenness I was holding on to in my heart. I was so scared of my unknown life ahead of me!
In 2010, the day after I came home from a month long trip to visit my sister (where God turned my scared, hard, hurting heart into clay) and I went on my first missions trip!
A week after that I went on another. I then knew I really wanted to serve the Lord cross-culturally.

God showed me how much He loved me, I knew and felt this powerful love, and as I learned He showed me, THIS is His heart for ALL PEOPLE!

How could I not share this love I knew with people who knew nothing of it?

I began learning as much as I could because I had been filled with this new passion God had given me!

:: So Here's The Funny Part::
I would pray over this passion daily, asking, "Lord, I have this love; how will you, have me use it?"
Always asking, " Lord use me, send me, give me strength to love You, and Your people."
and " where shall I go?". The funny thing is I was in this continual "waiting"position, but God was using me- His clay-all along without me knowing the plan.

Last March, I went to South Africa, and my life was totally changed. I came home and knew I didn't want to go on anymore "trips".

This winter I decided to take more steps to see what doors God would open, or close concerning missions, and see if this was something God would have for my life.
 I filled out a long application for a missions internship in the Ukraine, then I got an email about South Africa!
.... and here we are!


I think these next couple of days will be the hardest. The realness of all this is sinking in. I am very excited, but goodbyes are always hard!

 And really hard for my friend Laurie, ( *Lu-ree; Who will be in S.A. with me for four months) whose family finally sold their house.  It will be really hard, since her family will have to move while she is away, and she will back to a different house. 

::This Passage Has Been a Comfort::

Thus says the Lord who made you,

who formed you from the womb and will help you:
Fear not, O Jacob my servant,
Jeshurun whom I have chosen.

 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
    and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring,
    and my blessing on your descendants. 

 They shall spring up among the grass
    like willows by flowing streams.

This one will say, ‘I am the Lord's,’
    another will call on the name of Jacob,

and another will write on his hand, ‘The Lord's,’

    and name himself by the name of Israel.”... 

Fear not, nor be afraid;

    have I not told you from of old and declared it?  

And you are my witnesses!- Isaiah 44:2-8

::Please PRAY For::

•  Laurie: with all new emotions of leaving "home" and goodbyes.

• Traveling: Laurie and I have three connecting flights before flying into JoBurg. That is scary stressful to get to each gate in time. 

• Goodbyes: Grace for all the tears that go along with leaving home for a while.
  
• The Missionaries: Amber and Louis O'Tool and there two children, Meridith and Drake traveling home to the states, and Brian and Lois, Niehoff, and there three children Liam, Lindy, and Charley adjusting to "The Village" without the O'Tools.

• And PRAISE the Father: I now have 90% of my needed support raised! Praise the Father for all the people who are sending me. I am so blessed to see the body of Christ at work in many ways, and places!